Rain. Autumn Thoughts

"Rain beats like percussion. And I'm tired. And I'm tired like, like an infant; rocked in my mother Universe's womb. And the percussion rain beats steady, and for a moment I believe that I am steady too."

- Sade' Miller

Amygdala

The love child of our rhythmic labor
Your sweat seeped into my skin and,
Lived there.
Lives there.
I smell your satisfaction,
Your exhales.
I smell your, fast and slow, and faster and, slower.
Exclamation.
Even the clouds swollen with rain
make my loins grow uneasy
At the thought that they might explode
And be satisfied.
Or as the Earth becomes black with night
And the sun lies down to rest
And day is satisfied
I smell your sweat in my skin
Sticky with dew.

- Sade' Miller

Sunkist

We loved on yesterday with summer eyes

And hearts like great oak trees.

Our love was Sweet, and, free.

But that was yesterday.

We shared kisses on cheeks.

Smiles with peaches in our teeth.

And sun kissed lips.

And then the clouds grew salty with tears.

And so did we

The thunder roared.

And so did we

The rain fell

And so did we.

- Sade' Miller

Rhythm

Babymamas;
Hood rats, naive, or both
Trifflin niggas;
Good dick.
Empty pockets.
5 kids
Baby got the sniffles so
Whip out that Medicaid card
And sit and wait for the African doctor and his Latino assistant
To be finished with the baby who's nose dripped like a faucet
Dripping with that cough that has made his throat so dry
His whine is kin to the sound of one of those
Old Toyotas painted yellow
With racer stripes.
And that trifflin' nigga
With his empty pockets
Won't feed the "family"
He'd rather sit on the couch playing his XBox 360
So for dinner, the specialty is served;
Easy Mac or Chef Boyardee Ravioli
What a feast.
But the baby is picky
Ungrateful
Even if he is just a baby
Anything is better than bread and welfare cheese.

- Sade' Miller

Hypothetically Thinking

Oh boy, how you've changed me.
We watched the seasons change together;
I met you in January and we decided to kick it in mid-spring
Oh... boy I've loved you since I was twelve and you were thirteen
My mother couldn't tell me nothin'.
And boy, I've watched you grow into a man
But I feel kicked to the curb
Under appreciated
For all those nights i risked my ass
To stay out 'til 4 in the morning
All to love you
Don't you remember?
And now I. have. no. clue
Who I am without love
This world doesn't make any sense
Because I don't know what it means to be alone
Boy I need you to help me to understand
The purpose of the other half of my body
You were my right hand
My best friend.
But now my arm has been amputated and there is no more we
But boy, I must admit
There isn't a moment that I don't wish
That you would come back to me
Even if it was all my fault
Even if it was all your fault
Hypothetically.

- Sade' Miller

September Thoughts

"I feel over stimulated, but in the most bittersweet capacity. Pure panic in my hands. Excitement. Shivering. Brain collapses. Brain surges. Sweaty Palms. Breathlessness." 

- Sade' Miller

In Memory

"In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing." - Robert Ingersoll

So Many Women's Disclaimer

   Please, don't call me beautiful because I'm human and I react irrationally in far too many situations, because I'm moody and my emotions aren't stable, and because I'm afraid that in 10 years I won't be able to recognize myself due to depression induced binge eating.
   No, don't call me beautiful because flowers are beautiful and I'm far too perplexing. It's impossible for me to be beautiful because love is beautiful. And I can not love because I'm too young to be selfless. I never gave you the chance to breathe the same air that I breathe, or to fall asleep comfortably on my breast, or to wake me up at 3 in the morning and though I'm cranky, I smile because you're beautiful. I gave up on a chance of discovering real love because the world wouldn't find Us beautiful. I never gave you the chance to get to know me and maybe, just maybe think that I'm beautiful too.

- Sade' Miller