Look the Same-Kinda, Wet

So, are you a deep river or a stagnant stream? I'm an ocean. Real Deep. What about you? Mmmm.. I'm more like a lake. I've got edges, but I also have ripples and possibilities..

There's A Paradigm Of The Artist Who Is Heart Broken By Hollywood. We're All Telling That Story.

...

"In hip hop, we’re all trying to get to this next level without the next level finding us. Life is like peaks and valleys. Some people explain that as good times, bad times. But I actually think its learning, mastership, learning, mastership or study, mastership, study, mastership. I went form the top of one mountain, I’ve mastered something and people appreciated it. Once you’ve been on top on that mountain, you have to move this way but in hip hop people are like, I’m not moving….I’m the master, I’m great, I’m dope, I’m here, I’ve arrived, I’m not going anywhere! That’s when you stay stuck on one hill, one mountain. God’s intention is that we study and master a bunch of things. So here I am descending this hill and everybody is like “Where are you going, we’re suppose to be on top of the hill?” But it’s an exciting time, definitely an exciting time for me because I’m at the foot of another hill. This hill is totally different, navigated differently but I get to learn. Once you learn and you go through that, you’re on the top of another one."

- Lauryn Hill

Because This Is Over Due And I Don't Know What Else To Say

When love making became more than an act.. You are poetic like oceans & skies & fire. More brown than me; like smoldering wood. My lips feel heavy. And the air, pregnant with our sex takes more effort to breath. It. Fills. Me. 'Til there is no more room left inside of me, for even me. And I am dizzy and not so clairvoyant in love. Maybe that dimple in your right cheek did make the conscience scrambled and the coochie easy but, I think I would have loved you regardless. And whether you entered me and My Temple on day three or thirty, it doesn't really matter because I had you on both occasions and loved you in between. And sometimes I wish that I could be inside of you. Why can't I be inside of you? I want to start a revolution. What is physical becomes metaphorical and then literal. Like you saw. You invaded. You conquered. Me. And I, like A beggar can only have whatever it is that you choose to spare. Is it wrong that I like It? Because I do. 


- Sade' Miller

PMS Maybe? Thoughts

"There's this tree. It sits across the street from my house. I admire it's humility. it reminds me to reconnect myself to the source."

- Erykah Badu

My Name (In the style of Sandra Cisneros)

Where I'm from my name means I'm surprised if you can pronounce it correctly. In Nigerian it means honor confers your crown.. It means chance, it means haphazard. It is like the number 3. A shade of fall. It is the jazz my mother plays every morning, songs that feel like triumph and failure, love and fear.
It is The British singer, Helen Folasade Adu's stage name and I feel like she and I are connected sort of like we, because she feels that "Sade'" is special. She is an ingratiating character in her music, smooth jazz, quiet storm, soul, bellowed like me. Like how easy going I wish I were. 
My parents. 17 and 18 didn't know that I would be Sade' until I arrived here. Everyone was expecting Aaron.
And the story goes, I wore boy's clothes for my first month or so. 
I wasn't planned for, like those babies born to trying, older parents who wished, and prepared yellow nurseries, and wished that they could until a doctor professed their miracle. I wonder if my mother made the best with what she got or was she sorry because she couldn't be all the things she wanted to be.
Sade'. I wonder if my mother was thinking of a sad song when she named me.

Almost everywhere they say my name funny. Sometimes I am "Say-dee," or "Sayd," and I get angry because They don't know how to announce my name like it is royal, like my mother does. I wish my mother would have named me something different. But I am always Sade'. I know some girls with names that sound like mine. But they're names are more revealing more loud. S-H-A-D-A-E, spelled more phonetically. With their snapping fingers and rolling necks and loud, revealing mothers. I would like to baptize myself under a new name, a name more like the real me, the one nobody sees. Sade' as Nicole or Alexandra or Tatum. Yes. Something like Tatum will do.

- Sade' Miller

Thoughts Of Relief

"Thank you maker. I feel like we were just being worked through.. I can listen and I'm inspired all over again."


- Sade' Miller

Most nights, most dreams, most nightmares are, trippy,  psychedelic, heart jerking, arousing, breath taking, depressing , intense, too much, too real... Most nights I'm not able to sleep through the entire night. I worry. I worry about life and death. My life. My loved ones death. Hell. I worry about hell a lot. I worry that I'm not good enough for God. I pray, wish, my life depends on whether or not I am. Most nights I feel the worst feeling in the world. Inadequacy. Worried that I am inadequate.

- Sade' Miller

Rain. Autumn Thoughts

"Rain beats like percussion. And I'm tired. And I'm tired like, like an infant; rocked in my mother Universe's womb. And the percussion rain beats steady, and for a moment I believe that I am steady too."

- Sade' Miller

September Thoughts

"I feel over stimulated, but in the most bittersweet capacity. Pure panic in my hands. Excitement. Shivering. Brain collapses. Brain surges. Sweaty Palms. Breathlessness." 

- Sade' Miller

Morning Thoughts

"I woke up with life at my bedside.
Empty handed, it bore gifts.
I am grateful for whomever God may be. Good morning."

- Sade' Miller

Virginia Thoughts

"I think the first time I lost my mind and fell in love all at once was when I realized that even silence had a sound. At the ebb of life's urgency, I heard GOD."

- Sade' Miller