When We

Love naked and free
With eyes running like silks
To breast and thighs
Exploring my birth
Because it is natural for we
Who are sensual and swollen with love.
I love..
Like dasies and honey bees
Ignorant to the lies that men tell
Because we are blessed and contented
In rhapsody
When we. Simply. Breathe

-Sade' Mller

Dear Mother

Kinky hair, hips that sway
We create colorful midnights
And African heat
Singing praises to Mulungu and Nyambe
To Allah and to God
With Our Yellow, Brown, Blue-black hands
Outstretched to skies that my mother bore
Dealt the labor pains of humanity
And now we dare speak of reparations
Of oceans, and wind, and earth, and beauty
I let you love me with lies that I believed
Promising forever like it was yours to keep
But maybe our love is only temporary
Too soon replaced with famine and mosquitoes and Blood Diamonds
With slavery and genocide and war and AIDS
Or maybe our love isn't love at all
Dear mother, Do you love me?

- Sade' Miller

You and You and Me

Voices harmonizing with our soles
As our hearts thumped to the rhythm
of whirling ropes
We were jumping into womanhood
full of possibility.


Base and rhythm like heart beats
We sing in 3 part harmonies
to purple skies with clouds
like ledger lines crying descant tears


The chronic hum of double-dutch ropes
on summer concrete
Chanting "Hooky player 8, jump straight"
I jump into forever and make a turn at the sun
Will you be there?


And now you look at we with questioning eyes
Have we lost love like its not eternal?
When forever is just a word
The pain lasts just as long
So now I'm left with memories of jumprope and
You and You and Me

- Sade' Miller

News Flash.

So its been brought to my attention that some people have a problem with the "sexual content" in my blog posts. To that I say, I in no way endorce or promote sex but I do promote humanity and who I am, and we are sexual beings. A great majority of my post have nothing to do with sexual relations at all. Take my poem "Hello" for example, I used the entire poem as a metaphor for my experience falling in love with poetry.


HELLO

We bumped into each other at the local shop rite
He knocked over my shopping basket (This line creates the illusion of my stumbling upon poetry being accidental)
I got caught up in his eyes,
His lips
Then his...
Package (This displays my analyzing of my then new artform. "Package" in its truest form being what it had to offer me)
He rudely interrupted my sweet reverie with " Hello"
Still partially in trance I mustered up a " Hi"
Not smooth like his
I was nervous and off pitch (This portrays my first attempt at poetry; an annylitical comparison between myself and already established artists)
Somewhere between then and now
I invited him over to my place (This illudes to me becoming comfortable with poetry)
Whispers in modest baritone
We loved like he was my Beetle and I his Ocean child (Referencs John Lennon- member of the Beetles and his wife Yoko Ono- Chinese translation for Ocean Child; Both were artist, John, a musician and lyricist and Yoko, an artist, art collector, musician and philosipher. On the night of their honeymoon they invited the media to their hotel room for a "Bed In For Peace")
Avant-garde, he pushed me to new hights
and I pushed back
Creating rhythm and rhyme
We made poetry

- Sade' Miller

This poem like much of my poetry has a connotation that lies deeper than the mind of the adverage close-minded person will ever be able to percieve. Let's stop running from who we are and hiding behind "the politically correct." Oh yeah and for whoever said that the picture of the girl with her bra being removed in one of my older posts was me, take a second guess. (The girl/woman or whatever she was, was found on GOOGLE IMAGES and she is clearly a caucasion or hispanic woman. *Both of which I am not.)

-One love.

Ode To A Tree

Like Juvenile's kiss
Blooming, green and tender
He was young, unpredictable and
full of eternity

Withstood summers of lovers' heat
The sultriness of Junes
& passion of Julys
Bitter winters
And fruitful springs

Love note and names
faded with years on limbs that
danced with sunshine
But time,
As it goes by the watchful eye of
the rising sun
Memories past
The sun has set
Memories made no more

- Sade' Miller

Hello

We bumped into each other at the local shop rite
He knocked over my shopping basket
I got caught up in his eyes,
His lips
Then his...
Package
He rudely interrupted my sweet
reverie with " Hello"
Still partially in trance I mustered
up a " Hi"
Not smooth like his
I was nervous and off pitch
Somewhere between then and now
I invited him over to my place
Whispers in modest baritone
We loved like he was my Beetle
and I his Ocean child
Avant-garde, he pushed me to new
hights and I pushed back
Creating rhythm and rhyme
We made poetry

- Sade' Miller

NIght Sky

Heaven is mad at our indiscretions
Gloomy with charcoal, and
depressed blue
Sleep lurking behind corners
I blink my eyes
And blink again
The sun can no longer peer
through the clouds to see you and I
Goodbye till morning

- Sade' Miller

Yellow

How do I love you?
Like sweet memories of hip-hop
and penny candies
Or do I love you like stars,
Filling every crevice of eternity?

Do I love you like green, or like red,
Or royal blues?
Like love that is new
Or like pain?

Maybe like hop- scotch and vanilla
ice cream
Like tennis shoes
Or do I love you like Christmas
morning and summer time?

Do I love you like us and we
Like certainty
Like simplicity
Like art and spirituality

How do I love you?

I love you like poetry
Like singing my favorite song in
the shower
Like clear skies, 83 degrees
Like yellow.

- Sade' Miller

Mommy

Sister with mister's hand
Wooed the world with green thumbs
Bled Treble cleffs and
Shed tears of watercolors
Face like beautiful music;
Piano, not gritty and soulful, only
the white keys
Strength of Black Panthers
Curved fist, tight grip
Bore life like mother earth
No daises or jasmine
Just roses with thorns that stung,
Just us

- Sade' Miller

Back 2 School.

Sept. 3rd marked the unofficial end of summer as students all around NJ started school. Already we see formation of premature dramas, and im so not with it. Yeah I understand the whole "need a good education in order to be succesful" speech, but besides that who in the world needs school. I personally would loooveee to be home schooled. Free from all the drama that comes along with having too much estrogen in one place at the same time. My school in particular is a Fine/Performing arts school so there is nothing but bitchy females and cunt guys (yaaaassss honaaayy) lol. I guess you gotta get in where you fit in so I'm making it my initiative to make this year productive.

-Peace & Chicken Grease =), Sade'

Poem For My Boyfriend

He was yellow like the high noon sun,

In mixed tounge-

He made music between my thighs

While I sang to soprano skies;

His hispanic mulatto medly

Bachata, Rhythm & Blues

Te amo; I love you

In love I climbed and climbed

Reaching my peak of passionate fantasies only God could create

He was my king

Commanding earthquakes in the smalls of my back

Shivers down my spine

My drug and I relapsed

And relapsed

Love can make time stand still

What was, is

And what is, will be

I love you

- Sade' Miller

Hello World.

Sorry that I haven't been posting as much as I should but what the hay its summer time. Any who I'm back... AGAIN, lol and hopefully I won't be too caught up to update in the near future.Lately I've become interested in taoism not as a religion due to my christian beliefs but as a philosophy. Those who study the tao believe in action through inaction and not asserting the will of man as a force against the will of the universe; to make things less complicated, what is ment to be will be so there is no need to stress what is not at our hand to controll.I'm gone for now, until the next time,
- Peace, Sade'

Back in Action.

Haven't updated in a while. Been kinda busy but its whatever. The weather has been super kind to us all up in Jersey. More or less I began writing my memior some time back. Its still not complete but give me feed back please.

Girl in the Mirror:
A conquest for self-discovery

To Be
I want to go where the river runs deep enough to drown my shame
To rid me of a pain so profound
So one day I might spread my wings and soar

To be cold
My face ridden without expression
To cry metallic tears

To be inhuman
I cannot feel
I cannot hurt
I cannot love

Reality concludes
Life becomes vague
To forget
What have I become?

-Sade’ Miller



Fear. To be oppressed by plaguing psychological concepts defined by traumatizing occurrences or the idea itself of those occurrences taking place. Fear. A feeling of apprehension or distress caused by the presence or anticipation of that which is unpleasant. Fear, of being alone, unloved, unwanted. I am afraid.

MOMMY.
Sleepless nights my mother cried for that man to love her the way she loved him. But my father was a boy; tormented by the temptation of “those women” and their goods. So like a boy he ran from responsibility. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too; while I stood there foolish, a child, wondering why Daddy didn’t want to spend the night at my house. I still loved him. I was his first born, and a girl, “Daddy’s girl” so I was special. I always blamed my mother for why things didn’t work out, but with maturity I’ve come to realize that she was just tired of his serial polygamous ways, and he was just a boy.

Mary J. Blidge, Anita Baker, Lauryn Hill, Will Downing… Sade’. Music and heart break. Life’s sound track full of sultry vocal stylings spewing lyrics of depression. A psychological suicide. They were singing her song, telling of her innermost fears and insecurities. There was something different in my mother’s eyes. Hate, rage, aggression. And then he came. I was five and my mother had just bore her second child by my father. I had seen him before at my mother’s job, always wanting to give me candy and presents. I hated him. He was not my father so why was he here? From day one I knew that there was something wrong. Too many too-close-for-comfort moments; I was afraid and like a predator he sensed my fear.

Jason was my mother’s rebound guy. He was her kind of “in your face” approach at getting back at my father, who she clearly still had feelings for. He was considerably younger but as far as my family was concerned, anyone was better than my father. The summer of 2001 was a cold one, despite June’s passion and July’s blistering fever. I began to feel shunned by the blanket of protection that I had found in my mother throughout my eight years of existence, and was seemingly thrust into mature affairs in which I had to cope with my insecure and premature emotions alone. “I’ll never put anyone before you Sade’, I love you.” They were married on July 8th, marking the end of life as I knew it.

Time had no mercy and life had no compassion. Devoured in matters of the world, I wanted to run and hide in the vivid pictures of my art form. Thus came my love for writing, using simile and metaphor to portray my want to be liberated from this imprisoning transgression. She yelled and I mustered the courage to yell back. She hated me, because I was my father’s child. I was dealt the repercussions for his inability to commit, his lies, and how badly he hurt my mother.

The Most Important Person in My Life

The essence of which I am-
Caving in on this empty shell of a body
Do you hate me?
You scorn my soul and kill my pride
Wake me up inside so I might feel;
A freedom so sweet
Reverie I pray it not
Let me soar above and just be
To fulfill a new level of self
And even with your criticizing antics I will still be the best me
I will live
I will laugh
And I will dream of new highs

-Sade’ Miller

UNDERSTANDING.
No one understood me. All the Love, all the Fear, all the Pain, all the Hate. Memories of that man invading me and stealing my youth. The sweetest thing I’ve ever known was

-See its not done but I'm working on it.

Reeses!!

As you can see from my last post, the level of my thinking perhaps due to my "Spring Break" state of mind, has been all but what it normally is. Currently all I can think about is why in the world I'm sitting here posting this blog instead of going to the bodega to get the Reeses that I so desperately crave. Ugh! I feel sooo lazy right now its unbelievable, but the power of that peanut-buttery goodness is unbearable. I'm gone for now. School starts back up on Monday so by then I should be back to posting blogs actually about something.

- Sade'

Idk

Random.

I am sooo stuffed right now. ughh! Just ate an extremely large lunch with my mom & brothers. I could literally fall over and crash just about anywhere right now. It's that serious.

Random #2.

I want a tattoo reallyyyy badly. But of course; my mother being who she is, is being a total prick about it. (Who says prick? lol) but I'm definitely gonna get one any way.

Thouqht.

Wtf is up with these myspace qanqster bitches & horny liddo boys tryna spit qame over the cpu... Computer Love? chill. lol the use of modern technology is so overrated.

Thouqht #2.

Broke people are either always miserable or wantinq to taqq alonq and spend your money. What is up with that?

-;okay time for a nap. bye.

Cats?

So its sprinq break and im definatly not tryinq to waist a minute of my time. thus far thinqs have been peachy keen for me. *finqers crossed. & i hope it stays that way. But.. despite all the fun i've still been able to have my reoccurinq epiphanies of life and its challenqes. and latley more than ever my revalations have been cominq to me in the most odd of ways. for example:

On Easter morninq a random cat was found sittinq on my porch. i for one just cannot stand members of the feline species because for one. i am superrr allerqic and two. they scare the hee-bee-gee-bees out of me. lol. any who. this cat is still, as im writinq this, sittinq outside of my front door. (talk about wierd) and it just qot me to thinkinq about purpose and destiny... like what if the little quy was sent to me for some stranqe reason that im totally iqnorinq. what if its beinq here symbolizes somethinq. i've never been too reliqious thouqh i do follow the Christian faith, and there are all those stories in the bible about people iqnorinq God's messaqes & what not. maybe im too analytical & i could just be over thinkinq it all but i cant help but wonder if the course of our life is already predetermined by an inevitable course of events beyond the power of human control or does our future lie in our hands, makinq our actions responsible for the course of our lives.

Its crazy how a cat of all thinqs qot me thinkinq like this. but im out for now.

-peaceeeee, Sade'

Boys. Boys. Boys

Life has its issues, but those of 99.9% of teen girls revolves around some boy (roughly). One of the downfalls of being attractive or not so attractive even, is that guys sometimes don't get the "I don't want you... EVER" picture until you totally scorn their pride. Males are complex creatures. They're either overly emotional and get attached way too quickly or they treat you like a thing of the past after the second date, when they're the one who hounded you down for weeks until they got your number in the first place. (Don't be mistaken, I la-la-love boys.)But c'mon son.

On a more serious note..

Sex. I understand that for some it's a very uncomfortable topic to discuss, even for those who are currently/have been involved in sexual relations. Sex is normal, but the problem is the difference in how we (guys & gals) view it. Guys get praised for sleeping around while females are considered whores. Look at the emphasis on male sexual dominance in just about every advertisement both print and film, music video, ect. ect. ect.. Are we so ass backwards in 2009 that we still submit to the primitive double standard? How about putting aside labels and all just being "smart." I'm saddened by the fact that in most instances, young females are ONLY encouraged to abstain from having sex, while males are are given options to be safe.. HELLO.. they can't do it alone! Is it wrong that I too am a sexual being? I am NOT saying for females to go out and screw everything but this is reality .

-Be safe
peace & light, Sade'

Dealing.

Life changes on a daily basis, therefore the only thing constant in the world is change. Sometimes I just wish that time would stand still for the good moments and spare me a smile or a bit of laughter, so for once the good would actually out way the bad. Life hands you so much shit (well me anyway,) and it has just gotten to the point where I've had to ask myself; when does bull the end and the living start happening? I've never been one to pitty myself and by all means i do absolutely love me, but things could definitely be waaaayyyyyy better.

-Taking things one day at a time, Sade'

Intangible Inequity

Ok so I am a communication arts/creative writing major at RPHS and I haven't updated this blog of mine in a while so i decided to write a poem. hehe =). I think it's hawtt.

Intangible Inequity


Bordered by lilacs in my orange sky
Silver clouds play the impulsive melody of wind chimes
Paper planes and plastic birds waltz;
In my silver/ orange.
Lilac sky
My clouds sing
Crying artistic rainbow tears
Paint me a picture of beautiful you
Once, what does it matter when or if I fell in love with such a passionate beauty?
Winds whispering sweet soprano
I am forever in lust with my vigorous sky
- Sade' Miller

Oldie buhh Goodie

Today a few people left me thinking bout what I had. No I'm not talking about my most recent fling, but o'boy from about two exes back lol. (Those who know me know who I'm talking about) and to be honest I've never been much of a woulda kid; the kind who are stuck on what they woulda did. =) Because I live for the moment. But today was different, this boy really had me thinking! The only problem is that iIcant remember why i let him go in the first place so iI don't wanna be stuck in the same predicament. But people can change right? Anywhoo.. We've been on and off even through the relationships in between. Maybe I need to give up my girlish dreams and not try to fix what isn't broken. On the same hand I am a go getter and I refuse not to go get what i want. As for right now whatever happens, happens!

- Sade'

Single!

Wow! My love life is currently nonexistent. But for right now I like it that way. The idea sounds great to have a boyfriend/man/boo/hubby/ect., but the fact of the matter is... I don't. & I'm definitely not looking. I just got out of a relationship the day before yesterday (literally) & he's still hitting me up like nothing ever happened! Just to break it down for those confused souls who thought we had/have something; we DON'T and never did. Yeah I may answer your phone calls every now and then, chill with you sometimes, or even have you thinking I like you. but what can i say, I'm a flirt =).
WORD OF ADVICE: Don't push it.
- Sade'

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